One to One Coaching

I offer free 30 minute telephone/Skype consultations for people wanting to find out more about coaching on the 'baby decision'. Email me at and assistant Laura will respond and arrange an appointment with you. Visit for more information about my coaching services.

Monday, 23 May 2011

Does finance play a part in the decision to have children or not?

This question was posed on an internet discussion board recently. One of the concerns people have when thinking about whether to have a child or not is whether they can afford to have children.

I've only had a few clients for whom this was the prime concern however ~ for most people there are other issues affecting the decision ~ and it is rarely purely a financial question. Yet it is a big factor - can I afford to have children now? Should I wait? How long to wait? How much money is enough money?

Saturday, 14 May 2011

The biological clock - what would you do if you were told you had to conceive within the year?

In this article, Kasy Edwards talks about having to make the decision to have a baby within a year before her fertility expired. She has written a book about the issue and how she was glad that she went ahead to have her child - even though it wasn't the ideal time.

The writer of the article makes links to Sylvia Ann Hewitt's book 'Baby Hunger' which advised women to get on with conception as the chances of conceiving later in life were slimmer.

I have mixed feelings about these books. On one hand, yes it is true that conceiving after 35 can be more difficult. And yes, our youth culture perhaps has led to a denial of the biological facts. I also think Edwards did exactly what was right for her. Interestingly, sometimes when we are faced with a loss of choice we can actually move forward and make a decision more quickly.

However, on the other hand, I feel that many women lead very happy and fullfilled lives without children. There can be something about the writing about fertility and the biological clock slightly pushes the view or feeling that having children is the best decision. And certainly, my unease with the work of Hewitt is that she continually tries to show that women who have made the opposite choice have been less happy or fullfilled.

What should I do - my husband wants a baby but I don't

In this piece in the Observer Magazine, Mariella gives advice to a woman whose husband desparately wants a baby but she doesn't want to have a baby but is willing to adopt. The woman seeking advice expresses many worries that I hear from women who come to me who don't want kids or don''t feel a biological urge to have a baby but who are in a relationship with someone who does.

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Do I leave my partner who doesn't want children?

Here is a query posted on Google answers from a woman who is trying to decide whether she should leave her partner because her partner doesn't want children.

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

Choosing to be Childfree

Sonja Lewis has written her debut novel explore the decision to be childfree and not have children. She discusses the book and how she came to write it in this article .

When she was approaching 40, she said that she got obsessed with the decision whether to have children or not. And in the end, she decided not to.

I want a baby but I'm single

Articles about celebs who want children but who are single do resonante with many women. In this piece, a blogger is writing about Eva Longoria who wants a child but she is single - and how this applies to her as well.

Some of the women who come to me for coaching and who are in this position find it very difficult. For many of us, having children is tied up with being in a relationship, with being in a family. But as I have mentioned elsewhere in this blog, many women decide to be single parents by choice which is sometimes the decision clients come to. Equally, women may decide that they do not want to parent as a single mother but choose instead to let go of their dream of having children to allow them to enter into a childfree life in a positve, pro-active way.