One to One Coaching

I offer free 30 minute telephone/Skype consultations for people wanting to find out more about coaching on the 'baby decision'. Email me at mailto:beth@ticktockcoaching.co.uk and assistant Laura will respond and arrange an appointment with you. Visit http://www.ticktockcoaching.co.uk/ for more information about my coaching services.

Tuesday, 11 July 2017

Decidophobia: Are you afraid of making the wrong decision?

Princeton University philosopher Walter Kaufmann in his book Without Guilt and Justice looked at the fear that many people have of making decision.  Written in the 1970's Kaufmann coined the term 'decidophobia' to describe the fear some of us have of even making the smallest of decision.

I only recently discovered Kaufmann's work through this Forbes article which mentions him in passing in this article Overcome the Fear of Making Decisions.  I was drawn to him as he articulates one of the key reasons I've thought that many of my clients get stuck around the baby decision.   That is being stuck because of fear of making the wrong choice.  Many clients have said to me that if they didn't have a choice - for example if they either found that they were pregnant by accident OR that they were infertile and couldn't have children, they would feel a sense of relief as the decision would have been made for them.  As Kaufmann states in the paragraph below, the guilt and fear that comes from making the 'wrong' decision can often feel overwhelming.

Humanity craves but dreads autonomy. One does not want to live under the yoke of guilt and fear. Autonomy consists of making with open eyes the decisions that give shape to one’s life. But being afraid of making fateful decisions, one is tempted to hide autonomy in a metaphysical fog and to become sidetracked and bogged down in puzzles about free will and determinism. It is far easier to define autonomy out of existence than it is to achieve autonomy in the very meaningful sense in which it can be attained. The difference between making the decisions that govern our lives with our eyes open and somehow avoiding this is all-important. 

I love how he describes the paradox between us as humans wanting and asserting our autonomy while at the same time fearing it. What we are fearing is the enormous responsibility that autonomy gives us.   In an article I was quoted in about 10 years ago in the Economist called The Tyranny of Choice

We've grown up with a lot more choice than our mothers or grandmothers; for them, being child-free wasn't a choice, it was pitied,” says Beth Follini, an American life coach who specialises in the “maybe baby” dilemma. “The anxiety comes from worrying about making the wrong choice.” Having options seems to make people think they can have control over outcomes too. Sometimes, says Ms Follini, choosing is about learning to live without control.

How can we overcome this fear? One way is through looking at and addressing this self-sabotaging fear head on. When I work with a client who has an overwhelming fear of making the decision, we often look at what their saboteur or inner critic is saying.  Often, the client might have a very perfectionist saboteur and a belief that they must know, that they must have knowledge that theirs is the 'perfect' decision - the right one.   When clients can begin to reduce the power of this saboteur, then clients find that the overwhelming pressure begins to lift and they can begin to trust themselves to know that they can move forward and make the baby decision.


Tuesday, 4 July 2017

Childless by Circumstance - A Conference for Women and Men

I'm so pleased to be speaking at this Annual Conference for Childless Women and Men.  It's happening on Saturday 14th May in Birmingham and it promises to be an event to explore many of the issues and concerns facing women and men who do not have children.

Conference organisers describe the purpose of the event as a chance for all those who are childless by circumstance to get together in a safe environment and listen to the most phenomenal speakers and build on our supportive community.

Although I mainly use the term child-free in much of my writing on this blog, it doesn't adequately describe women and men who are childless by circumstance. Many of the clients I have seen fall into this group and the circumstances that face people in this situation include:

- having a partner who doesn't want children
- fertility issues
- being single and not feeling able or wanting to have a child as a solo parent

Kerry, the conference organiser describes some of the reasons behind organising this event.

When I first realised I was not going to have the children I had hoped for I was angry at first that I had, just prior to that moment, thought I was going mad. Grieving for something that had never breathed life. Only to then find out I was not the only one, by a long way. 1 in 4 women of child-bearing age have not given birth. Yet where were we all? We are 'hidden' within our own Culture  and dealing with others' often intrusive questioning was exhausting and stressful.

The intrusive questioning and assumptions made by others is something I have heard again and again from clients.  Our culture seems to assume that individual circumstances of fertility and child-bearing is something that we can all comment on  and this lack of understanding and sensitivity is incredibly painful.

That's why it's so wonderful to see the energy gathering to bring people together to talk about and explore many of the issues faced by women and men who are childless by circumstance.   I'm looking forward to meeting everyone there and discussing more of these issues together.
Hello, my name is Kerry and when I first realised I was not going to have the children I had hoped for I was angry at first that I had, just prior to that moment, thought I was going mad. Grieving for something that had never breathed life. Only to then find out I was not the only one, by a long way. 1 in4 women of child-bearing age have not given birth. Yet where were we all? We are 'hidden' within our own Culture  and dealing with others' often intrusive questioning was exhausting and stressful.



Tuesday, 27 June 2017

Do I want a baby enough to go through IVF and ongoing fertility treatment

For some of my clients, deciding whether to have a baby is complicated by problems with fertility. According to the NHS website, around one in seven couples may have difficulty conceiving. This is approximately 3.5 million people in the UK.  That's a lot of people who do want child but who are struggling.

I've sometimes worked with clients who, if they could have gotten pregnant naturally, would not be struggling with the decision.  But the stress and heartache of IVF forces people to ask themselves the question.  Do I want to go through IVF? Do I want a child enough to go through what can be a long and difficult process?  Will I regret it if I don't do everything in my power to have a child?

This article Motherhood and Waiting Takeover explores the journey of IVF and how the waiting takes over your body and your life.

'It is not just the takeover of your body that makes IVF so challenging, but the takeover of your schedule, your life. Every-other-morning appointments, waiting by the phone for news about the results of blood draws, timing injections precisely, ordering more medication or procuring discounted or free leftovers from women finished with their cycles: it all takes time'

Clients who have tried to have a child naturally and are now facing the decision to go through IVF often feel guilty and worried.  A common theme is 'I've wanted this and now that there are some challenges, I'm questioning whether I do want children because if I really did, I would go through anything.'

 I believe that it's important to give ourselves permission to make the choice not to go through with a difficult and stressful medical procedure.  Many times clients say that they are not keen to go into IVF but they feel that they should, that they should try everything or else they will regret it.  Yet, when we are kind to ourselves and give ourselves permission to let go of guilt and the 'I should'  we can make the choice that is right for us.  

When clients do this, sometimes they realise that it's ok to make a decision based on the context.  It's not giving up to say that in this circumstance, I have decided not to have children.   And then, sometimes  sometimes they decide that they will try IVF but without the same negative feelings of guilt or worry pushing them to do so.

Thursday, 15 June 2017

Why would I want to bring a child into this world?

It's been a heartbreaking couple of weeks here in London.   As some of my readers may know, I sing with Borough Market Choir.  My practise room where I see face-to-face clients is just 5 minutes walk from London Bridge and Borough Market.  It's my neighbourhood.  The photo above is of one of many moving tributes for the victims of the attack that have sprung up all over the area.

And then, two nights ago a terrible fire in West London in a tower block.  The horrible images of people being trapped  including the desperation of parents trying to escape with their children is almost unbearable.

When terrible events come close to us, it's frightening and disturbs our sense of security.   It can bring a sense of despair.

So for those considering parenthood, it can seem as if it is madness to bring a child into the world.  I wrote about this before in a blog post which explored how the concern about the environmental crisis in the world does affect some people who are considering whether to have children.  Why would I want to bring a child into this world? is a question I've heard from clients.  

There is no simple, no straightforward answer.    There are things happening all over the world seem chaotic and frightening.  For me it comes down to a key question.

 Do you want your decision to have children or not to be based on fear? Do you want to you want to give into the standpoint that the world is essentially a violent and hopeless place?

What happens when we tap into the feelings of community, love and belonging that always shines through in terrible times?  We can see people connecting more in the face of tragedy, people donating to charity and volunteering their time.    Maybe bringing a child into this world would not seem so hopeless, maybe we can see how our lives and the world would be enhance.

Or maybe, we would decide we didn't want a child after all.  But not because we were scared or thought the world was a bad place.  But, because it's not right for us - because we could create love and connection in other ways.


Thursday, 8 June 2017

Will I regret having children? Will I regret not having children?

Long-term readers of this blog will note that often I return to this topic of regret.

It's probably the one main driver in women (and some men) seeking coaching on the baby decision. Recently, a client said to me 'I feel trapped.  No matter which decision I imagine making, I constantly feel consumed by the fear that I will regret whatever choice I make.   When I imagine having children, I worry that I will regret this choice.  And then, the consequences of this choice will not only affect me, but it will affect my child and partner.    So then, I turn towards the option of being child-free.  But very soon I am overwhelmed by worries that I will be lonely, that my partner might have died or our relationship will have split up and I will be alone.  He might also regret the choice that I made - and he might find himself longing for fatherhood.'

This sums up the place that many of my clients find themselves in... of being driven by a fear of regret no matter what choice they make.

I think that's what keeps my clients and others in a limbo state - because when you are still deciding, you don't have to face the possibility of making the wrong choice, of regretting the choice you have made.

I've tried over the years to find ways to articulate my thoughts on regrets.  I say to clients that it's a paradox of the decision.  It's a decision that has big implications for our future and yet, we can only make it in the here and now.   In coaching, we work on visioning, looking at how we want to live our life now and in the future... and yet, we also have to be able to let go of the worry and desire to know and control our future in order to make the decision.

I found this short article by Oliver Burkeman Stop Worrying About Future Regrets really spot on about regret.  He references another recent article about parents who regretted having children.  Says Burkeman:

'The worst part about trying to minimise future regret, surely, is that you’ll never know if you succeeded. Who’s to say you’d have felt more or less regret if you’d taken a different path? In a feature in the Guardian back in February, several parents broke a major societal taboo by admitting that they regretted having kids. Obviously, though, they can’t know for sure if they’d have regretted not having kids even more. (The same applies, in reverse, to those who regret being childless.) I suspect what’s going on is not that some choices are more regret-proof than others, but that some people are more regret-prone, given to ruminating on roads not taken. Rather than having made a terrible mistake, maybe those regretful parents are just the kind who tend to regret things.'

I interviewed a woman who had decided to be child-free and she was in her early 60's.  She said that occasionally she felt a pang of regret when she saw a friend with a grand-child.  But she believed that whatever path you choose in live, you will feel regret.  It's part of being human.


Tuesday, 30 May 2017

Encounter with a coaching skeptic

I attended a fantastic wedding this weekend. My friend, the bride was born in the UK but her family is originally from India.  Her husband is  French and the wedding party was a wonderful mix of people from different countries and cultures.  It reminded me why I love living in London - this beautiful diverse multicultural city where, for the most part, everyone gets on.  I always feel a sense of acceptance.... or perhaps it's benign indifference - from Londoners.  People don't bat an eyelid at people in eccentric or unusual clothes on the tube for instance.

Even so, it can be very difficult to explain the work I do and how stressful it can be for many of my clients who are struggling to make the decision whether to have children or not.   I was reminded of this when I struck up a conversation with a wedding guest who I didn't know at the wedding reception.  We were having a great chat - about London, about diversity, and about our mutual friends who were getting married.

Then we started to talk about what we do for work.  My new friend told me about her interesting work in the field of medical research.  She then asked about my work.  When I told her about my work coaching women who were trying to decide whether to have children or not, she looked very surprised and said forthrightly.

'Honestly, I think if someone needs a coach to help them with that question, then the answer is no surely?  Either you know or you don't know right? I didn't want kids and I haven't thought much about it.  I really think it sounds like something for people I would call the 'worried-well''

I explained that while for some people - like herself - the question is indeed straightforward that for many people, the question is far more difficult and stressful.  

She still looked very skeptical and I plowed on.  Nothing I was saying was resonating very much until she made the point that it must be something that just effects a tiny minority of women as most of the world women are just having kids unless they can't.

'Ah, but that is because in many parts of the world, it's still not seen as a choice.  Think back to when our grandmothers were younger.  The idea that you could choose to be child free and decide not to have children was unheard of.   Now, we have made huge advances mainly down to the hard work of the feminist movement.  We have many more possibilities and choices.  But those choices have led to un-intended consequences.   Because we have choices, because we know that we can be in charge of our future, we can feel over-whelmed by making such a significant life choice.'

My new friend agreed with me on this point  and said she saw this was true very much in her family. but said she was still sceptical about the value of coaching. So, I made my final argument.

'Everyone has things that stress them out, fears that are blocking them from making a decision... something you find straightforward, someone else will find difficult or stressful.  We all have areas where we feel unsure and vulnerable.  I see my role as a coach to help people listen to their own voice of intuition - to be more confident in making the decision that is right for them.'

It was then time to toast the bride with champagne and we left our conversation to drink and dance the night away.   Perhaps she will still be skeptical  about coaching but I'm hoping she will have more compassion and understanding about friends and colleagues who she might meet who are worried and stressed about making the decision to have children or not.

Friday, 12 May 2017

It's Mother's Day.... but I'm not a Mom

It's Mother's Day in North America this Sunday (Mother's Day has already been and gone in the UK). If you aren't a mother for a whole host of reasons including that you are trying to decide whether to become a mother, you're trying to get pregnant but haven't had any luck, you do want a child but you can't because you're partner said no, or you have simply decided that you don't want children, Mother's Day can feel a bit exclusionary.... particularly if most of your friends are mothers.

I've been looking at a number of blog posts and other articles on the topic.  This one from That Girl called Mother's Day When You Are Not A Mom  had some good practical suggestions and some amusing of what to do on the day itself including:

Baby sit – I know! You are confused! (There is a reason why this is #13). If you have a single mom in your circle of friends who really deserves a quiet day to herself to try any of the above activities offer to take her kids for a few hours! You might even end up with your own waffles or refrigerator art at the end of the day!   Cat Wilson, That Girl Blog

Jody Day, founder of Gateway Women (for women who are childless not by choice) wrote this powerful piece for Red Magazine What Mother's Day Feels Like When You are Childless    In it, she talks about the importance of owning and accepting the range of feelings you might be feeling today - the full range from sadness to anger to bitterness.  

Anger has vital work to do, if only we’d let it. I think bitterness probably has a lot more to do with not allowing ourselves to take the actions and have the conversations (both individually and culturally) that anger wants and needs us childless women to be having!

Silencing ourselves for fear of sounding bitter is much more likely to make us bitter. We need to understand that anger is an entirely valid emotional response to the unfairness we’re forced to make our peace with.  -  Jody Day

This week, I also had a discussion with an older Gay Anglican priest who made a wonderful point.  In the Anglican tradition, Mothering Sunday is sometimes seen as an opportunity to celebrate anyone who has taken a mothering role in some aspect of life.  This might be a teacher, a minister, a favorite aunt, a volunteer and so on.  This article echoes that view http://www.wbur.org/cognoscenti/2017/05/12/mothers-day-marjorie-s-rosenthal

If you are reading this and feeling down about Mother's Day, perhaps this is a chance to reflect on some of other people's ideas about the day.  Take some time to just acknowledge and be with your anger.. but then, perhaps there is a way you can celebrate your 'inner mother' - the part of you that is nurturing and caring.... whether you have children or not.


Tuesday, 9 May 2017

Maternal Ambivalence

Last week on the blog, I talked about the role that ambivalence plays on us when we are trying to work out wither we want to be parents, whether we want to have children or remain child free.  Today I want to look at the topic of maternal ambivalence which effects new mothers.

For years, psychologists have recognised the existence of maternal ambivalence .  In my experience, it's not often talked about.  But it's surprisingly common and many new mothers will talk about the  they were surprised to experience such ambivalence just after the birth of their child.

'I had an urge when I was out shopping with my new baby to leave her in the buggy in the changing room.... and walk away.  I didn't of course... but to be honest, I'm surprised that more babies are left all over the place, the feeling is so strong.' - A new mother attending a local mum and baby group.

I remember a few days after I gave birth to my son I had an overwhelming sense that I had made a terrible mistake.  I was completely unprepared for this feeling, this ambivalence to being a mother and for having all this responsibility thrust upon me.

Naomi Stadlen is one of the leading professionals ambivalence and identity of new mothers    I always recommend her book 'What Mother's Do...Even When it Looks like Nothing.' to women who are having or who have just had children.  This quote below perfectly sums up my experience:

'First-time mothers usually collect information about babies.  They..... go to preparation classes.  But for many women, even though they have attended preparation classes, the reality feels excessive.  Surely someone along the road would have stepped in to warn them?  They had expected a slight shock at having a baby but what they experienced was a massive shock.'

Stadlen's version of maternal ambivalence is kinder and more compassionate to women than earlier psychologists view.    When we consider the full reality of motherhood and the shift that many new mothers feel in going from a fully independent person who is able to head out the door to see friends, go to the cinema and even for a pint of milk with no encumbrance.  Yet a new mother suddenly finds that she has another person who is constantly dependent on her, and completely vulnerable.

This points to polarity struggle that I sometimes work with my coaching clients - that of independence vs dependence.  If we are used to being and living mainly in the pole of independence, I think the shock of having a baby who is completely dependent on you AND who your ability to move and live is also dependent on, it can feel unbearable.

As I write this, I hope this is helpful for you, my readers who are coming to this blog trying to decide whether you want to be a mother or not.  I think it's important to know that even if you do make the decision to have children, that decision can still contain ambivalence .... at least for those initial weeks and that it is normal.


Tuesday, 2 May 2017

Accepting Ambivalence

There isn't much room in public discussion on the decision of having babies for talk about ambivalence.  Many of my clients said that they feel odd or isolated for feeling ambivalent about whether they want children or not.   'But surely I should know, surely everyone knows one way or the other?'  is a common question.  When I tell strangers what I coach women on, I'm sometimes meet with incredulity.   'I can't imagine not knowing one way or the other.!'

Yet, ambivalence around whether we want children and indeed, ambivalence around being a mother is more common than we think and more common than popular culture would suggest.   Merriam Webster gives this definition of ambivalence:

1. simultaneous and contradictory attitudes or feelings (such as attraction and repulsion) toward an object, person, or action

2.a :  continual fluctuation (as between one thing and its opposite)
   b :  uncertainty as to which approach to follow ambivalence about their goals

Ambivalence is the main state my clients find themselves in when they come to me.  They are experiencing contradictory feelings/attitudes towards the idea of having children, feeling like they are continuing fluctuating or switching between wanting and not wanting children, and feeling uncertain about which path to take.

I have long been fascinated about an approach to coaching (and life) called polarity & wholeness.  In this approach, we look at poles which represent opposites.  For example, Order & Chaos, Independence vs Dependence, Vulnerability vs Strength.   On the face of it, it seems as though we have to choose between one or the other and that they are incompatible.   Yet, what has become evident to many - from the Taoists who explored the power of the Yin/Yang symbol to Gestalt therapists is that we need to be able to hold the tension or contradictions of opposites in order to be whole human being.    We need to be independent and able to function independently of others.... and we also need to be able to lean on other, to allow ourselves to be dependent.  Too much independence means that we can find it difficult to be in relationships. Too much dependence means that we find it hard to be on our own.

'Philosophers and psychologists have long stressed the importance of dealing with
paradoxical tensions for growth and learning. In his book “No Boundary”, Wilber (2001)
classified all major traditions in psychotherapy as ways to transcend the dividing lines
that we draw between our self-image and our unaccepted shadow parts, our mind and
our body, and our individual identity and the environment. When these lines are taken as
battle lines, with enemies imagined in the other camp, people become tense and unable to
respond to life’s challenges in an effective way' (from the paper 'Polarties in Executive Coaching by Ursula Glunk and Beth Follini)'

All this leads me to believe in my work with clients that one of the ways forward to making the decision is to - paradoxically - accept that ambivalence is often a part of life.  We can never be totally sure we are making the right decision and we can never completely overcome ambivalence.   As I will explore in my next blog post, even when women have children, many women feel something called 'maternal ambivalence'.



'


Monday, 17 April 2017

Easter Thoughts


Easter weekend has just passed and I'm recovering from eating way too much chocolate!  But, I've decided that I will write a blog post every Monday and so, here I am, with one hour to go till Easter Monday is over.

Easter  is a time of year associated with new beginnings, new life, fecundity and with family.   Perhaps you have just had a gathering with your family over the Easter period and felt the decision weighing down even more heavily than usual.  (for more thoughts on the holidays and the challenges they can bring, go to my blog post on the challenges of Christmas holidays Christmas Time and Not Having Children )  Easter can be a hard time for those who are trying to make the decision whether to have children or not. This can be doubly true for those who are attending church or who are regular church attenders.

If you have a faith, you may find that some religious leaders in your faith encourage you have children as a expression of the values of your faith. (see a blog I wrote last year on comments the Pope's view on being childfree.   I've worked with clients who have found it difficult when have been advised by ministers or pastors to have children as an integral part of their religion even when they aren't sure they want children.  When coaching someone in this situation who feels conflicted about the advice or messages they are receiving from their minster/pastor, I ask this question 

'What do you hear when it's just you and God? When you are alone, perhaps praying, to God?' 

And usually the answer is very different from the message the person has been hearing from their minister or leader of their religion. 

If we have a faith, we know that we can listen to and trust our own relationship with our faith and with our God.  Religious leaders can be wise and thoughtful but they are humans and like all humans are informed by society views and norms on having children. 

Sunday, 9 April 2017

Being a step-parent - without having kids of your own

I recently received an email from someone wanting to know if I could refer her to any articles for step-parents who wanted children of their own but found themselves in relationships with people who already had children and who didn't want any more kids.

I realised that this is an important topic that I haven't covered very much on the blog.  It is something that I have seen as a coach.  I have had a number of clients who have been in a relationship with someone who has their own children and they have found themselves in the step-parent role and part of a 'blended family'  Yet, this can be fraught if you also want children of your own.

Common issues experienced people in this situation include:

- Feeling 'left out' or a 'spare wheel' at family gatherings .
- Linked to the above, having a question about  'what's my role?' in this family (a client explained to me once that if she had a child with her partner she felt her role in the blended family would be more solid)
- Resenting your partner for having a relationship with his children that you wonder if you will ever have with your own.
- Having to take on a parenting role with step-children without being able to have a child of your own.
- Not feeling valued as a step-parent or the role

In a recent article on Huffington Post Help for the Childless Stepmom , author Mary Kelly says

Feeling like an outsider in one’s stepfamily system is to be expected. You feel like an outsider because in a very biological sense, you are.  It is a humbling position stepmothers and especially childless stepmothers find themselves in. It’s hard to not take it personally when stepmothers show real and genuine care for their stepchildren only to have those feelings rejected or pushed away.

So what do you do if you find yourself in a relationship where you are a step parent and you do want children?

To start with, I always encourage clients to do one last push to see if their partner will reconsider having a child with you.  Sometimes, when clients are clear, confident and centered, partners can change their minds.   Particularly if clients can 'speak from the heart' and express from a deep place why children are important to you.  I've worked with clients to help them do this and sometimes, it has worked.

If you have done this or your partner is very firm about not wanting children (and you don't want to leave the relationship), I suggest exploring how you can own and be confident about your role as a step-parent.  I've worked with clients who felt un-confident about their role and yet, the feedback they received from their step-children was very positive.  Sometimes, if you are able to own your importance as a step-parent and give it more value, it can make you feel more positive about your role as step mom.  Unlike the author of the above article, I do believe that you can have an important and positive role in your step-family as a step-mother.  You need to keep talking to your partner and need to keep looking at how you can move from being an outsider to an integral part of the family system - regardless of whether you have children or not.


Monday, 3 April 2017

Does coaching on the 'baby decision' help?



If you are struggling to make the decision to have children or not, you will know it can be isolating and difficult to work it through on your own.  But you might be wondering if coaching on the baby decision could actually help you or how it helps.   Some of my clients have written about what they have found helpful about coaching with me and I thought I would share it with you

'I came to Beth because I was in a panic about the decision to have children or not.  I was afraid to make the wrong decision and regretting this forever.  I have come to realise that there is no wrong or right decision and that I can live with the decision that I make.  I feel that I have fully explored the issue and am relieved to know that I will not look back on this time in my life and think that I didn't have the courage to address it head on.  Taking the time (6 months) to explore the question with Beth was the best thing I could have done to enable me to move forward on the decision.' (Cassie, Central London, 39)

“I initially came to coaching because I was struggling with the decision on whether to have a baby. I did not feel that I had friends and family who would have discussed this topic with me without having their own agenda.  Beth was just what I needed – she was very supportive but provided guidance in a completely neutral way. I eventually understood that the dilemma was actually a reflection of larger issues in my life, and we went about tackling those first. After 11 months working with Beth,  I completed coaching with greater insight on a number of areas in my life, in addition to clarifying the baby decision.” (Crystal, NYC, 36)

'I came to this coaching practice in an utter panic, pushed this way and that on whether to start a family by relatives, friends and my husband, all of whom had definite (and different) opinions on what I ought to be doing. The decision to start a family is extremely personal, yet even strangers seem to have perspectives on it, and it's easy to feel badgered and bullied even by well-meaning people. Beth helped me separate my own feelings from those of the people around me and to assess clearly what I wanted. I found the experience very calming. I would recommend that any women ambivalent about whether to start a family go through Beth's process - particularly if she feels she has no disinterested party to turn to.' ~ Virgina, 38, Writer

"Life coaching has given me the opportunity to reflect upon my life and self  chosen goals. I have made some positive changes, one of which is to  take more risks in life! I am more motivated and confident to change the  areas that I am dissatisfied with.  Beth has been extremely supportive and       with appropriate guidance and homework exercises has allowed me the  opportunity to grow on a personal and professional level. I would  recommend life coaching to anyone who seems frustrated or disillusioned  with the direction that their life is going in. "  -  Penny, 41, Teacher