One to One Coaching

I offer free 30 minute telephone/Skype consultations for people wanting to find out more about coaching on the 'baby decision'. Email me at and assistant Laura will respond and arrange an appointment with you. Visit for more information about my coaching services.

Monday, 31 October 2011

Overpopulation and making the decision to have kids or not

Happy Halloween everyone!
With the news that the world is about to reach the 7 billion mark, the question of whether we should limit the number of children or indeed decide not to have children is very present. The Guardian invited comments from readers on this question which makes for interesting reading!

Techniques for regaining your centre

In my last blog post, I mentioned I would share with you a technique for regaining your sense of calm and peace ~ even when you feel stressed or anxious about making the decision to have children or not. I give this technique to all my clients as it is a simple and powerful way for us to regain a sense of calm.
1. adjust your posture so you are sitting uplifted.
2. take a gentle breath in and then a LONG breath out.
3. allow gravity to take the weight of your shoulders and chin
4. imagine you have a bubble of energy surrounding you and any stress or pressure that comes from outside can just land in the bubble of energy.
5. ask yourself the question 'what would it be like if I had just alittle bit more ease in my being right now?' and notice what answers come
This should take no more than 5 minutes. Now, look at the situation again and notice what is different.

Tuesday, 25 October 2011

I want a baby but my boyfriend doesn't

This question appeared on Yahoo Answers recently - it's a question I hear alot.
One of the things I work on with my clients who are in this situation is to help them get REALLY clear about what they want. Once people can express themselves in a clear and confident way, it's then MUCH easier for them to discuss this with their partner.
In my next blog post, I'll look at some techniques to help yourself develop calmness and clarity.

Monday, 17 October 2011

The financial cost of having children

As I've mentioned many times on this blog, finance is sometimes a key factor in making the decision whether to have a child or not. (although it's usually not the most pressing factor actually I find). This article Covering the Cost of Children mentions the shift in demographics that is happening in Australia, where there are growing numbers of single person households and child-free households. Personally, although I think financial considerations have a big part to play in this, I also think that it has always been a financial challenge to have children and that actually, the shift in demographics may have to do with other cultural reasons - such as it being more acceptable not to have children. However, I think this article has several practical tips around financial planning and the decision to have children.

Wednesday, 12 October 2011

Widening our options: Becoming a mentor

With many of my coaching clients who are leaning towards being child-free is a desire to have a role in the life of a child or young person although they may not want (or be able to have) childre of their own. So one thing we do is to explore their options - what are some of the other ways that they can be involved in a child's life?
I came across this fantastic article in the NY Times called Mentors Life-Changing Bond. It looks at a unique project whereby a child from an at-risk family meets with a mentor every week for 4 hours for 12 years - from kindergarden to high school. This has a significant impact on the life of the children.
While most mentoring projects do not work over this time scale, many do encourage people to build mentoring relationships with children over several years. In the UK, there are many projects that are looking for mentors to support children and young people in deprived backgrounds and the charity CSV has many opportunities for this work.

Monday, 10 October 2011

What about men?

I've sometimes been asked this and although I have coached a couple of men around the baby decision, I haven't had many enquiries from men asking for coaching to help them make the decision whether to have children or not. So I do tend for focus the language of my website and this blog on women who are struggling to decide whether to have kids or not. However, in the last two weeks, I've had emails from two men who are struggling with this decision. One wrote me a thoughtful and long email about the difficulties that this has been for both him and previous partners who have felt angry and resentful at his inability to make the decision. He felt that men are not prepared or supported to be fathers in our society and this makes the decision more difficult - as fatherhood seems like an even more risky and/frightening option.

Thursday, 6 October 2011

Testimonial from a 'baby decision' client

I just finished with a wonderful client this week and I was very touched by the testimonial she wrote me. It's such a privilege to be able to do this work!

'I don’t easily seek help from others, and was encouraged to work with Beth by my husband, when we were struggling with a decision as to whether to have a child. From the first session, she nailed what made me tick, and I was always amazed by how I immediately felt the results from each exercise. Even if dealing with difficult issues, I had fun and came away enlightened, with techniques that I now feel I can use to resolve anything that’s thrown at me.Not only do we now we feel we can reach a balanced decision about having kids, I also feel I know myself much better and what I want to get out of life. I’ve come on leaps and bounds in my work, and I’m certain this is due to the sessions with Beth.' ~ RV, 32, architect

Tuesday, 4 October 2011

Delaying having a child, Having a child in your 40's

Forbes magazine published this piece When have you waited too late to become a Mom? The author raises some valid points around the difficulties of having children past your 40's. What I believe that if you do want children, and even if you have waited till your 40's or even 50's you do have options. One option I always encourage clients to explore is adoption - although adoption is a difficult process, older prospective parents are welcome by most agencies. And if you adopt an older child, some of the difficulties that are raised in this article can be negated.