One to One Coaching

I offer free 30 minute telephone/Skype consultations for people wanting to find out more about coaching on the 'baby decision'. Email me at and assistant Laura will respond and arrange an appointment with you. Visit for more information about my coaching services.

Friday, 31 January 2014

When friends are having babies

When you are struggling with the decision of whether to have children or not, it can be difficult when a friend is pregnant.  In this advice column, a woman asks why her friend seems indifferent to her pregnancy. 

Thursday, 23 January 2014

Warning for women

A warning that women might end up being childless not by choice if they postpone having children for too long was made earlier this week.  The difficulty is that in the experience of many of my coaching clients, they are often facing difficult external circumstances including either lack of a partner or being with a partner who is reluctant to have children.

Thursday, 16 January 2014

Having children or not should not define or divide us as women

The wonderful feminist writer Suzanne Moore wrote this fantastic piece today -

I can't really add anything else to it but to say that I'm so in agreement with her main point that it isn't whether we have children or not that means we can lead a full and fulfilling life!

Monday, 13 January 2014

New research - Couples without children are happier

Today I was asked to go on BBC 5 Live news programme to comment on this story which focusses on research that says that couples that do not have children are happier than those that do.  I always get abit nervy before doing a media interview and never manage to get ALL my key points in response to this story Happier Relationships for Couples without Children
  • The research challenges the old myth that relationships (and individuals) are not complete unless they have children.  My belief is that there are many, many ways to have fulfillment and a sense of purpose in life. 
  • If you do want children, these findings shouldn't put you off.  But you can use what they discovered to ensure that you and your partner DO create time and space for yourselves as a couple.
  • The gender difference is very interesting.  In the research, they found that women who were mothers reported being happier than women who did not have children.  However, in that study a number of the women who would have been interviewed would have been childless NOT by choice.  There would have been a significant numbers of women who did want children but who couldn't have them due to infertility or because they wanted a child but their partner didn't.  This points to the importance of something that I work with clients who initially did want children but finding that it isn't going to happen or isn't going to happen in the way they ideally wanted. - finding ways to make the choice a positive one EVEN if it isn't their ideal choice.
  • I also think the fact that women who don't have children are less happy could be done to the fact that women who don't have children are more harshly judged than men who don't have children.  Clients coming to me still report that they often face criticism or judgment when they mention that they might not want to have children.  Men are not so defined by their status or not as a father.

So, those are my key points on this very interesting piece of research!

Wednesday, 8 January 2014

Few college age students consider children as part of their future.

An interesting report on the New York Times Motherlode Blog - a researcher has discovered that college graduates today are much less likely to plan to have children.  'The percentage of students planning to have children dropped from 78 percent to 42 percent in just 20 years.'  For more information, check out this article

Monday, 6 January 2014

Testimonial from a coaching client

I just started my New Year coaching with a completion session with a client - after coaching with my for about 6 months, she felt that she was ready to complete the coaching.   At the end of the coaching, I like to carry out a completion session with clients where they can say what they are pleased with, what they felt they shifted or changed and also, feedback on what didn't work so well or what they would have liked more of in the coaching.  This helps me to reflect on my coaching and check that  people are getting value from the coaching.  And then, if clients want, I invite them to write a short testimonial about the coaching.  This is what my client I talked to today wrote.

'What I really enjoyed was having someone listen to my mental wandering, unbiased, without judgement, giving me the reassurance I needed.  Guided meditation helped unlock some hidden feelings.  It helped me realise that the answer was there all along – I just needed to listen and trust myself.'

- Cathy

Saturday, 4 January 2014

A frank look at single motherhood

Anything less than positive views of parenthood are rare. That's why this article from a single parent is so interesting as a frank and less than perfect view of motherhood.  

How many people decide to have children?

One question I get asked alot - often by prospective parents - is how many oft clients go on to have children and how many decide to remain child-free.  I don't keep statistics on this but I reckon that slightly more of my clients, around 60% do decide to try to have children and around 40% decide to be childfree. 

However, some  of my clients go through the coaching and find the gain greater understanding of what is driving their decision and gain greater understanding of themselves but decide they can delay the decision as they don't feel ready to fully let go of one option.  I recently had an ail from a client like this who I had seen a few years ago and she said that she had in the end decided to be childfree and the coaching had helped her be confident in that choice.

Wednesday, 1 January 2014

New Year Wishes!

It's 2014 and I'd like to thank everyone who has come to this blog. I often get contacted by individuals who have found the blog useful, some who want coaching and some who just want to let me know how the blog has helped them. THANK YOU ALL! I'm hoping for everyone out there who is struggling on making the decision to have children or not finds this year an answer to their questions. Some will find it on their own or with their partner, some will find it through working through my book 'Baby or Not?' and some will find it through having coaching with me or through working with another professional. What is important and what puts everyone out there a step ahead of other people is that you know that you need to resolve this question - you aren't looking to put it aside and hope for the best. You are doing everything you can to work through the issue and move forward in your life. That is something to celebrate!