One to One Coaching

I offer free 30 minute telephone/Skype consultations for people wanting to find out more about coaching on the 'baby decision'. Email me at and assistant Laura will respond and arrange an appointment with you. Visit for more information about my coaching services.

Friday, 25 September 2009

Recession affecting women's decision to have children or not

This week, the internet has been full of stories related to a report produced by Guttmacher Insitute called 'A Real-Time Look at the Impact of the Recession on Women’s Family Planning and Pregnancy Decisions'

The researchers surveryed just under 1000 women and the results were fascinating. Nearly half of those surveyed said they wanted to delay or reduce childbearing because of the economy. 64% of the women surveyed agreed with the statement 'With the economy the way it is now, I can't afford to have children.'

Of course, the worry is that women who delay having children because of the economy (but do ultimately want to have children) will find their chances of conceiving reduced the longer they want.

Other postings/articles about this topic:,8599,1925944,00.html?imw=Y

Wednesday, 23 September 2009

Should you have a child if you don't feel it is a 'vocation'

I came across this article posted in May on the Times Online. The authors suggests that unless you feel strongly that you want a child, that it is a vocation that you shouldn't have one.

Strong stuff indeed!

She says she was shocked how many children weren't planned.

Well, personally, I don't think it is as black and white as she states - yes, some women are always sure they wanted kids, some aren't, sometimes 'accidents' happen. What would be really interesting would be to see if there is a massive difference in how these children are parented or are loved once they come into the world.

Wednesday, 16 September 2009

Perspectives on the decision from a retiree

I found this wonderful blog posting from a blogger 'Graceful Retirement'.

She reflects on a common concern of women struggling with this decision - bboth the finance cost of having children and the impact of having adult children in retirement. the blogger herself hadn't been sure if she wanted children. And then did decided she wanted to adopt children. She discusses the impact this has had on her finances - and also points to some of the debates around being child-free. In the end she says:

'Having children has greatly impacted my finances. Yet I don't regret my decision to parent. Then, again, neither does my sister regret her decision to remain childfree.'

Saturday, 12 September 2009

Radio Play - The Second Best Bed

Here is a really interesting radio play - all about a woman who has decided she isn't going to have children. A good exploration of many of the issues - from dealing with pressure from friends and partners.

Monday, 7 September 2009

A view from Japan

More proof that people all over the world are struggling with the decision of whether to have children or not.

This article published in Japan highlights some of the issues behind people's struggle to make the decision.

According to the article, the Japanese government is actually thinking about paying couples to have children. As the writer points out, is this really an answer? Particuarly with both the costs and scarity of childcare in the country.

But why is the governement getting involved in this decision - you might be asking yourself. The problem is the demographic shift - with more people getting older - the pressure on the pensions and social care system will be huge. A generation of workers - paying into the tax system is needed to keep everything going.

Tuesday, 1 September 2009

Why I coach women on the decision to have children or not

It's the 1st September and that autumnal feeling is here - at least here in London, England where I live and work. A reader contacted me last week - asking about how I got into coaching women on the decision to have children or not.

It was through personal experience - about seven years ago, I was in my early 30's. I had never wanted children before and my partner has a grown up son - and he pretty much didn't want to have another child.

So it came as a complete surprise - to me and to him - that I began to wonder whether I DID want children after all.

Like many of you, I looked through bookstores and on the internet - there wasn't alot of resources out there that were very helpful. In the end, after a year of soul searching and fraught discussions with my relucatant partner, I did decide to have a child.

But I always knew that I could have also picked just as fulfilled life if I had decided not to have children - it would have just been different.

When I was contemplating re-training as a coach at the Coaches Training Institute I thought that this would be an ideal situation for coaching - as coaching takes a non-judgement approach to situations and places where clients are stuck. Coaches use tools and techniques to help clients find the way that is right for them.

Now, I have clients who I coach all over the world - via the telephone. And, in London, I see clients face-to-face. It's work I love - because it's helping people through what I know, from my own experience is very, very difficult.