How to make the decision to have children or not?

I was interested to see this query on the advice section of the internet Dating Agency E-Harmony. His query is this:

'How is a rational decision made on whether to have (biological) children?

I am in my search for a life partner and kid(s) is/are one of the major decisions. I could choose a lady without children who would like to have them. Or, I could date/marry a single mother who prefers not to have any more children, or a woman who does not want them at all.'

Personally, I think the problem is in the word 'rational'. The decision to have children or not is rarely strictly a rational decision. Emotions and gut feelings are always involved. (Interestingly, I went to a conference on Coaching & Neuroscience and one of the speakers pointed out that no decision we make is free of emotion or is purely rational)

A perspective from a 'maybe baby' client

'I came to this coaching in an utter panic, pushed this way and that on whether to start a family by relatives, friends and my husband, all of whom had definite (and different) opinions on what I ought to be doing. The decision to start a family is extremely personal, yet even strangers seem to have perspectives on it, and it's easy to feel badgered and bullied even by well-meaning people. Beth helped me separate my own feelings from those of the people around me and to assess clearly what I wanted. I found the experience very calming. I would recommend that any women ambivalent about whether to start a family go through Beth's process - particularly if she feels she has no disinterested party to turn to.' ~ Virgina, 38, Writer (USA)

No Children, No Guilt: New childfree book

Hello - I've been doing some raking leaves in my garden so I thought this was a seasonally appropriate image for this posting!

Most people reading this blog are still in the process of trying to decide whether to have children or not so I don't tend to refer very much to books or resources for childfree people . But after being contacted by author Sylvia Lucas, about her book 'No Children, No Guilt', I thought I would check it out. It was a very humourous book which also contains relevant and serious points about being childfree. So if you'd like a childfree perspective, check out her blog and website!

http://sylviadlucas.com/

Should I have a baby? Am I ready?

I just found this advice given to a woman who was asking the question should I have a baby? She wasn't feeling ready yet. It's a common thing that I hear from my clients. How do I know whether I am ready to have a child or not?