One to One Coaching

I offer free 30 minute telephone/Skype consultations for people wanting to find out more about coaching on the 'baby decision'. Email me at and assistant Laura will respond and arrange an appointment with you. Visit for more information about my coaching services.

Wednesday, 27 February 2013

So you don't have children? Now what?

If you are in London, you might fancy going to this event 'So you don't have children? Now What? at the South Bank Centre.  Part of the WOW series for women it focuses the implications of being child free for women.  Included in the panel is Jodie May, founder of Gateway Women.

Looks like a great event!

Tuesday, 26 February 2013

How to tell people you don't want children

I saw this article called How to Tell Your Friends (and Boyfriend) in the on line magazine Jezebel.

Good advice from the author!

I often coach clients who have decided to be child free but find it difficult dealing with the questions and advice from others.  I really love helping clients get really confident and clear in their boundaries. What my clients find is that when they get really confident and clear they can deal with 'nosy' enquiries in a much firmer but calmer way.  This can really help reduce the pressure and those clients that do this find that people back off rather than keep on prodding!

Monday, 25 February 2013

Working women in India consider egg freezing

The subject of egg freezing for a possible future pregnancy is becoming more of an option now.  I hadn't realised it but it is also something that women in Indian are taking more seriously.

In this article called No time for babies, working women freeze their eggs in an Indian newspaper reports that more women in their 30's are choosing egg freezing. 

Friday, 22 February 2013

Not wanting kids is entirely normal

One of the great things about hearing from parents on the whole 'baby decision' thing is that you soon realise that there is really no consenus on parenting.  While many people wax lyrical about parenting, many of us who do have children are honest about the downside.  I myself know that if I hadn't decided to have children, I would have had an equally - but different- fulfilled life. 

Author Jessica Valenti has written a book called Why Have Kids? and this excerpt called Not Wanting Kids is Entirely Normal. was printed in the Atlantic Magazine.

Very thought provoking!

Tuesday, 19 February 2013

Having a child with a friend - co-parenting

As readers of my new book 'Baby or Not?' will know, I am a big fan of alternative family arrangements.  The NY Times has recently run an article Seeking to reproduce without a romantic partnership on having a child outside a romantic partnership or co-parenting.

Great quotes from people who are raising kids this way! Also the article has links to websites where you can meet other people looking for a co-parent.

Monday, 18 February 2013

Irish USA playwright writes play on the decision to have children or not

Just found out this on the Internet 'Watertown's Bridget O’Leary directs 'Lungs' at New Repertory Theatre'

This is such a great subject for a play and I'm surprised that the subject has been taken up by more writers for plays or novels!

Saturday, 16 February 2013

Perspective from a childfree friend

In the Weekend Guardian today, What I'm Really Thinking - The Childfree Friend appeared. 

Interesting perspective from someone who has decided to be childfree.

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Choosing to have a child or not if you are gay/lesbian

Over the years, I have had a growing number of clients who are in lesbian relationships.  In the past, being lesbian or gay meant that it was assumed that you wouldn't have children and therefore, wouldn't be going through this dilemma.

However, many lesbian and gay couples today are choosing to be parents.  This online article Choosing to be lesbian parents goes through the various options that may be considered.  One of the options - co-parenting (where you have a child with a man who you are not in a relationshiop with i.e. a friend)  is something that I encourage heterosexual women who are thinking about having a child on their own to look at and think about as a viable option for themselves. 

Sunday, 10 February 2013

Should I have a baby?

Good ole Dr. Phil (of Oprah) has come good advice on the above question here.

Should I have a baby?

(And is it just me or is Dr. Phil a dead ringer for Jeffrey Tambor who played Hank Kingsley on the Larry Saunders Show?)

Friday, 8 February 2013

Helen Mirren speaks out on being childfree

Helen Mirren has always been a powerful role model for childfree women.  I was heartened to see this positive piece in the Telegraph this week  Helen Mirren confronts the final female taboo 

Many women make a positive choice to not have children and be childfree.

Earlier this week, I was on Talkback on BBC Radio Ulster where we discussed the issue of choosing to be childfree. which got very lively when one of the callers said that she could see nothing more fulfilling than being a mother!  Sadly, that viewpoint is still all too common.

Thursday, 7 February 2013

Baby or not? - My Book is now available to buy on Amazon

I'm excited to announce that my short self-help book 'Baby or Not: Making the Biggest Decision of Your Life' is now available to buy on Amazon!  Click on the link below to buy for only £4.00! The book is also available on Amazon sites for countries in Europe, North America, Japan and India.

US residents -

Canadaian residents -

The book is also available on other countries Amazon sites - you should be re-directed to those if you click on any of the above.

So pleased that the book is done and ready for sale!

Wednesday, 6 February 2013

Writer seeking your views and experience!

I've been in touch with Katherine who is working on a fascinating project.  If you'd like to take part, please read her request.  I have spoken to her myself and she is taking a thoughtful and sensitve approach to the decision.  Here is her request:

I am an experienced journalist/writer and I'm researching and writing a
book about women and our relationship to motherhood. I am looking to
interview women and men who consider themselves to be, more or less, in the
following categories (interviewees can remain anonymous):

- Women in their 30s and 40s, single or in relationships, who feel they've
been somewhat 'caught out' by feminism and fertility, who may have built up
careers, earned their independence - only to realise they may be running
out of time to be mothers because of their age

- Single women who think they would like children and are finding dating in
their late 30s/40s challenging because men overlook them in favour of
younger women. Also women who find it challenging being around so many
other women with children

- Women, single or in relationships, who've decided to become solo mothers
or to pursue motherhood through IVF, sperm or egg donation, co-parenting or
other means, because they feel they left it too late to have babies
themselves, because they did not find the right partner in time or because
their partner did not want children

- Women who are wondering whether to stay with a partner who does not want
children or to leave in the hope they'll find someone else to father their
children or to pursue motherhood on their own (the classic 'should I stay
or should I go?' dilemma)

- Men who have opinions about the male biological clock, about the
difficulties of dating or being in relationships with women who are anxious
about their fertility or men who are/were ambivalent about children, until
the child came along

You can reach me at or on 07990 567767. I
promise to treat my interviewees with sensitivity (I am 41, single,
childless myself) and to respect anonymity if it is requested

Monday, 4 February 2013

Being a Godparent & not having your own children

I was contacted recently about the above topic by the writer of a blog aimed at new mothers.  She has written a post on choosing a Godparent which she thought my readers might enjoy and this can be found at   As this website is very much aimed at new mothers and on choosing a godparent, it doesn't really have much resonance for this blog.  HOWEVER, it got me thinking - what are the benefits to taking on the role of Godparent if you don't have children and are thinking of being childfree?  So I did some googling and found alot of blogs about the role of Godparent - particularly church based websites.  It was this post on the Episcopal Digital Network that I thought I would share as there are quote from god parents who talk about the benefits on being a godparent.

In the article, a gay childfree couple speak about their experience.

'Both Garner and Mikrut, 55, said the role has been especially meaningful because they don’t have children of their own. “We’ve been together 32 years. Now, it’s much easier for gay couples to have kids. I’m grateful to Rick and Ruth to have provided a little bit of that to us by making us god-dads and being able to be involved in Matt’s life from the time he was born.'