One to One Coaching

I offer free 30 minute telephone/Skype consultations for people wanting to find out more about coaching on the 'baby decision'. Email me at and assistant Laura will respond and arrange an appointment with you. Visit for more information about my coaching services.

Wednesday, 18 September 2013

Doctor makes judgement on women who decide not to have children

Wow! Talk about making judgements on a woman's decision not to have children. This doctor in New Zealand  refused to give a woman the contraceptive pill as she hadn't done her duty to have children.  This is pretty extreme!

Tuesday, 17 September 2013

Deciding not to have children is NOT being selfish

One of the most pervasive myths about people who decide not to have children is that they are selfish.  It's something I try to combat every time I'm interviewed on the radio or for a newspaper.

In August, this great article The choice to be child-free is admirable not selfish by Jill Filipovic was published.  In it, she points out that through allowing the choice to be child-free to be seen as a viable one, we actually allow people to make the choice to have children in a more thoughtful and considered way.

'Substantial numbers of people choosing not to have children also makes clear that having children should actually be a choice for everyone. Encouraging women and men to really assess their own lives, circumstances, values and desires, and evaluate whether a child is an addition they want, not only helps individuals to make more informed and affirming decisions, but sheds light on the many factors that make reproduction so fraught.'

An excellent and well written article!

Monday, 16 September 2013

Weighing up the cost of having kids

So, we all know that having children is expensive but do people really weigh up the cost of having children when they are struggling to decide whether to have children or not?  I have found that finance can be a factor for some people in making the decision but funnily enough it is not usually the main driver for many of my clients, 

This article looks at the costs of having children vs not having children. 

Tuesday, 10 September 2013

Things people say if you think you might not have children

One the very frustrating things for many of my coaching clients who are thinking about not having children are the unwanted comments and advice they receive on their childfree status. Really people should try not to comment on other people's reproductive choices!

This is a short but good guide on what not to say to people who are either childfree OR who are thinking about not having kids. 

Things NOT to say to people who are childfree

Sunday, 8 September 2013

Is making the decision to have a child a rational one?

Yes, the decision to have a child or not is not a rational one - as I say to my baby decision coaching clients, if it was, you wouldn't be struggling so much!  That's why I really appreciated this article Is it possible to reason about having a child?   One of the reasons that I use coaching exercises that are creative or use metaphors, visualisations, and body centred techniques is that they help clients access the 'non-rational' self, the emotional side, the intuitive part which plays such a big part in this decision.

Friday, 6 September 2013