One to One Coaching

I offer free 30 minute telephone/Skype consultations for people wanting to find out more about coaching on the 'baby decision'. Email me at and assistant Laura will respond and arrange an appointment with you. Visit for more information about my coaching services.

Thursday, 30 October 2008

Is he the one I want to settle down and have children with?

This appeared in Private Lives in the Guardian today.

The person writing in is not sure if her current partner is 'the one' - she is thinking she needs more excitement/passion but, aware of her age, wonders if she should stay with her partner and have children.

I really liked the reply to this query!

Wednesday, 29 October 2008

Deciding not to have children

This short article came my way - it is about the old stereotype that deciding not to have children is in some way a selfish decision - which is not true of course!

Saturday, 18 October 2008

When your friends have children

This is a really lovely article that appeared in the Guardian Family Section today - about the changes in friendship that happen when friends have children and you are childfree. It touches on the issue of making the decision whether to have children or not.

Thursday, 16 October 2008

The Economy and the decision to have children or not

Here is an interesting blog post - asking the question whether the economic situation is affecting your decision to have kids or not?

Funnily enough - I've been writing the chapter on the financial impact of having children for my book 'Baby or Not?' . So I found the post very relevant.

It's tricky - because let's face it, if everyone really thought about how having children would stretch our finances, no one would ever have kids!!

Sunday, 12 October 2008

Canoeing Star Eggs Frozen till after 2012 Olympics

This article appeared today. Helen Barnes an Canoeist who is 36 has decided to freeze her eggs so that she can still conceive after the nex Olympic games.

She is single and this is an option some single women are taking.

However, I do worry that it isn't the cast iron guarantee that it might sound like. She says in the article that she is glad that technology will allow her to still be a mother. However, I think some of the problems with women conceiving after 40 is the high risk of miscarriage - which sometimes has to do with the quality of the egg but sometimes not? I'm not totally sure but I think egg freezing could be an expensive option that doesn't neccesarrily result in motherhood.

But, then, if it does work then I guess why not?

Saturday, 11 October 2008

Choosing Sterilization at an early age

An article appeared in the Daily Mail ast week about women who choose to be sterilized in their early 20's because they don't want children.

Sunday, 5 October 2008

What no baby?

This article from Australia caught my eye today. It focusses on the move away from committed relationships to single lifestyles and it homes in on the difficulties faced by women who find themselves unintentially childfree - after finding it difficult to find men who will agree to have children. A researcher has done a study and written a book called 'What no Baby?' looking at this issue. Here is an excerpt from the article.

'In What, No Baby?, Dr Cannold estimates that 25 per cent of women of child-bearing age in contemporary society will remain childless - and about 10 per cent are "childless by circumstance" rather than choice.
"There were two main groups of women - those who really wanted to have kids and some who were ambivalent, but all of them, given the right circumstances, would have had children," she says.
"They needed a partner who wanted children, a good person to father their children.
"Others split up at the wrong time or met a partner who didn't want to share the work with them - 'OK, you have a kid, but you do the work' mentality."
Dr Cannold says that at the time of conducting her research some of the women involved were "just devastated" about not having children.
"But I came across some of them some years later and those who hadn't had kids had come through it...they had moved on, dealt with the grief.
"They were those who moved towards motherhood but didn't end up having kids because they never found the right person or the right partnership, or they split at, say, 35 and by the time they found another partner, it was too late.
"These women didn't want to be called childless by choice - because it doesn't characterise what happened to them."
American research shows that of single men, one third are disengaged from commitment and long-term partnerships and parenting. The rest are more traditional males, happy to have children, but nothing much is going to change for them. '

'Tricking' men into getting pregnant

Well, I just found this REALLY interesting article in the Times. Basically, it's about women who purposely 'accidently' get pregnant to have a child.

It's not something I advocate doing generally. However, I completely understand why women do it! As this quote from the article says:

'However, when even eminent fertility expert points out that there is “a shortage of men in their thirties and forties who seem capable of real commitment”, what is a girl to do? Katya, for one, wouldn’t have it any other way: “I’m looking forward to bringing up my baby alone. Much better that than in a second-rate relationship,” '

But, if anyone was to ask my advice, I would suggest going through a fertility clinic and use donor sperm - there could be many complications as the child grows up through accidentaly getting pregnant on purpose.

Thursday, 2 October 2008

Having it all? The view from Ireland

Just came across this article - I found the tone rather strange and couldn't really decide what point of view the writer was coming from. But again, touching on some the usual relevant issues for women trying to make the decision to have children or not - how it will effect your career and your relationship. And of course, the disparity, with men being about to enjoy work and family without a huge conflict