One to One Coaching

I offer free 30 minute telephone/Skype consultations for people wanting to find out more about coaching on the 'baby decision'. Email me at and assistant Laura will respond and arrange an appointment with you. Visit for more information about my coaching services.

Wednesday, 30 October 2013

Being married and childfree

Countering the usual notion that a marriage is not complete without kids, in this article Meet the couple who say that the secret of a perfect marriage is not having children a couple present a positive view of being in childfree relationship.

Friday, 25 October 2013

Women feel judged for leaving trying to have children till they are older

A report has been published today Why women feel 'stigmatised' for not having children

As pointed out in the report, often people leave approaching doctors when it might be better to speak to a doctor as soon as you start trying for a child.  One thing I often recommend to clients coming to me - particularly if they are over 35 is that they do approach their doctor for basic advice/tests which could highlight any fertility issues.  Below is a good point made in the article:

"Tim Child, medical director at the Oxford Fertility Unit at the University of Oxford says people are leaving it too long before going to see their GP about their fertility problems.

"When couples start talking about their fertility, that's the point to speak to a healthcare professional.

"Good advice can be given early on about weight, diet, alcohol intake etc which could help, but many couples try for years before seeking help and before they know it they are in their late 30s - and in some areas that's too old."

He says that women wrongly assume that IVF is a good fallback solution when in fact the success rates are 40-50% for the under-35s, dropping to 20% for the under-40s and just 5% for women aged up to 43."

Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Japanese young people - turning away from relationships and having children

For many years, the population in Japan has been in decline.

This interesting article talks about a new trend amongst Japanese young people - turning away from relationships and having children.

Saturday, 19 October 2013

Sensitive advice to a woman whose partner doesn't want to have biological children - but wants to adopt.

I thought this was an interesting dilemma because usually in these situations a partner says they do not want children at all.  Personally, I think adoption is a great option - but only if people are really wanting to and committed to the adoption process.  It is a very long and challenging process so it's really important to work out all the issues you can within the relationship before embarking on adoption.

Thursday, 17 October 2013

Not sure if you will want kids in the future?

Psychology today just published this article Not Sure If You Want Kids focused on egg freezing as a way to resolve the decision if you are not sure if you will want children in the future. 


Wednesday, 16 October 2013

I want a baby but my boyfriend doesn't. Should we split up?

So this is one of the reasons many of my clients approach me for coaching - they know they want a baby my their partner or husband doesn't.

This was a useful bit of advice in a column called I'm 31 and want a baby but my boyfriend doesn't.  Should we split up?  Although I do think leaving it 5 yeas might be a mistake as if the boyfriend doesn't change his mind, then this woman could find herself at 36 with the decision to leave and start over again even more difficult. 

Monday, 14 October 2013

Answer to the question 'Who will look after me when I am older if I don't have children?'

One of the fears that women who come to coaching with me express is 'Who will look after me if I don't have kids?'  This lovely blog post Childfree 97 Year Old provides a very postive answer to this question.  Excellent story - it's something I like to do with my clients, explore alternative possibilities to answer their fears.

Sunday, 13 October 2013

I might want kids in the future but my partner doesn't - what should Ido?

A gay man writing into the advice column of the Boston Globe reflects a common problem faced by many of the clients I see. What do you do if you are in a relationship, don't know if you do want kids or might want them in the future but your boyfriends or husband has said they don't want children? Do you stay in the relationship or not?  

I might want a baby but my boyfriend doesn't want children.

Thursday, 10 October 2013

Would you choose not to have children?

Good morning all! I am most definately feeling the chill in the air as autumn comes to the UK.

An interesting blog post by Joanna Goddard on the topic Would you ever choose not to have children?  I like the interviews that she includes with women who have made this choice.

So, now I'm off to do some coaching with women who are not feeling so clear about whether they want children or not! I'm often asked if I have availablity for new client and, although sometimes my client list is full, more often than not I do have spaces.  This is because as people are coached, they do find themselves either making the decision or realising that there is something else they need to address first.  Clients tend to be with me anywhere between 3 months (i.e. 6 sessions) up to a year.  Although some can be with me shorter periods of time and occassionally longer (this is often because we have moved on to look at other issues such as work or confidence, etc.) So if you are interested coaching, do get in touch.

Wednesday, 9 October 2013

Advice to a woman in her 50's

Mariella Frostrup gives a woman in her 50's some great advice - the woman has written in because she feels depressed and wonders if she had had children would things be better?  As Frostrup points out, having children doesn't not ensure you are protected against depression or loneliness and, there are opportunities to look after children and young people that older people can have if they want to (i.e. fostering, adoption, mentoring).  Very positive and reassuring.

I'm 51, have no children and feel depressed and lonely

Tuesday, 8 October 2013

Coming out as not wanting children

More and more people are being open about their decision not to have children and to be childfree.  Here is one woman's account of what happened when she 'Came Out' has not wanting to be a mother.

Monday, 7 October 2013

Just a quick blog post now - pop singer Taylor Swift has said she may not want children.  Good to see another celebrity reflecting the decision making process many women go through - the decision to be childfree is certainly a viable one women can make.

Sunday, 6 October 2013

Personal reflection

Following on from my recent blog post on having children as an older mother, I found this short personal reflection What I'm really Thinking: An Older Pregnant Woman from an older pregnant woman which I thought was interesting.

Friday, 4 October 2013

Celebrities who don't have children

It's always good to see positive examples of people who have decided to be Childfree - here's an article about 12 celebrities who don't have children.

Thursday, 3 October 2013

Becoming a mother over 40

As you get older, trying to decide whether you want children or not becomes more pressing as we become aware of the limitations of our biological clock.   I see a number of women clients who are in their late 30's and early 40's who have additional concerns/worries about whether they would be able to cope with motherhood.  I found this website Mothers Over 40  aimed at mothers and those thinking about being mothers in mid-life - I think it's important to see positive examples of people who have taken the decision to be mothers outside of the 'normal' age bracket.