Christmas Time and Not Having Children

Christmas has been and gone for another year.  I hope wherever you are you have had a restful and relaxing time. I've been enjoying having a complete break for a few days after what has been an exceptionally busy few months for me.   I am aware I haven't been posting on this blog as much as I have been intending.  One of my New Year Intentions will be to write weekly posts again - I know from the messages I get that people do appreciate and read the posts here so I will be redoubling my efforts in 2017.

I'm very aware from working with coaching clients that many people making this decision can find this time of year to be a challenging one.  If you are in the midst of trying to decide whether to have children or not, being surrounded by others in traditional family arrangements can be stressful.

As I wrote in a blog post last year, you might have found yourself in an uncomfortable and 'less desirable' sleeping arrangement in the family house (see my post Relegated to the worst room in the house ) than siblings with children.   Adverts on the TV focus on traditional families with parents and children abound.    It can feel like the only way to be a 'proper' member of a family is to have a child.  And yet, many people around the world and throughout time do not have children - either though choice or through circumstances out of your control.

It's a particularly difficult time for those people who do want children but find themselves in a situation where this will be a challenging choice.  I have clients who constantly find themselves on the receiving end of advice and pressure to have kids and at Christmas, this pressure combined with the prevailing view of conventional family arrangements can be overwhelming.

I was recently talking to a woman who really would like to be a mother but she is finding herself 'Childless not by Choice'.   One of the topics I will be exploring more of in 2017 will be the challenges facing this group of women.  Whether because of fertility or because of having partners who do not want children, being in a situation where you find yourself childless not by choice is one of the most challenging positions I think it's possible to be in.

If you have felt out-of-sorts this holiday, I encourage you today to go out and embrace something you LOVE to do!   What is the one thing that you enjoy more than ANYTHING else?   Go do it today and remind yourself how fantastic you are!