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I offer free 30 minute telephone/Skype consultations for people wanting to find out more about coaching on the 'baby decision'. Email me at mailto:beth@ticktockcoaching.co.uk and assistant Laura will respond and arrange an appointment with you. Visit http://www.ticktockcoaching.co.uk/ for more information about my coaching services.

Sunday, 11 March 2018

Not Being a Mother On Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day in the UK - a time to celebrate mothers and acknowledge the impact in our lives.   But, for many women, Mother's Day can feel painful and exclusionary - particularly if

  • you are trying to decide whether to become a mother, 
  • you're trying to get pregnant but haven't had any luck, 
  • you do want a child but you can't because you're partner said no, 
  • you have simply decided that you don't want children, 

So how can you be on this Mother's Day if you are finding it difficult?

The blogger 'That Girl' wrote an article called  Mother's Day When You Are Not A Mom  had some good practical suggestions and some amusing suggestions of activities you can do on Mother's Day.

Jody Day, founder of Gateway Women (for women who are childless not by choice) wrote this powerful piece for Red Magazine What Mother's Day Feels Like When You are Childless    In it, she talks about the importance of owning and accepting the range of feelings you might be feeling today - the full range from sadness to anger to bitterness. 

Anger has vital work to do, if only we’d let it. I think bitterness probably has a lot more to do with not allowing ourselves to take the actions and have the conversations (both individually and culturally) that anger wants and needs us childless women to be having!  Silencing ourselves for fear of sounding bitter is much more likely to make us bitter. We need to understand that anger is an entirely valid emotional response to the unfairness we’re forced to make our peace with.  -  Jody Day

In many Christian traditions,  Mothering Sunday is often seen as an opportunity to celebrate anyone who has taken a mothering role in some aspect of life.  This might be a teacher, a minister, a favourite aunt, a volunteer and so on.  This article echoes that view http://www.wbur.org/cognoscenti/2017/05/12/mothers-day-marjorie-s-rosenthal

So on this Mother's Day, remember to take time to just acknowledge and be with your anger.. but then, perhaps there is a way you can celebrate your 'inner mother' - the part of you that is nurturing and caring.... whether you have children or not.

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