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Maternal Ambivalence

Just found this interesting article today on maternal ambivalence - it raises some important things about the ambivalence many mothers have to being a mother.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/feb/25/health.children

This is one of the reasons I've decided to start training to be a post-natal group leader (in addition to the coaching!) - to help new mothers through this time of transition.
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Sass said…
When my daughter was about 7 months old, I went on a life-coaching course with a bunch of other mums (children of various ages).

It was brilliant. Really helped to see what I could control, what I couldn't, how to let things be and how to enjoy myself throughout it all.

Trickiest thing was finding a babysitter so I could go on the course. But if you want to do something... these things fall into place eventually.
26 February 2008 at 12:10
Beth said…
Hi Sass e! Sounds like a brilliant course!

Yes, I got alot out of coaching as well - which is why I decided to be a coach.

I'm also planning to start training to be a post-natal group leader - it think it's so important to have faciliated post-natal support.
26 February 2008 at 12:19
Sass said…
Hi Beth. Wonder what you made of the Compleat Woman article in today's Guardian.

I put up a post on the subject if you want to take a look.

http://onestrangelylushmother.blogspot.com/2008/03/high-expectations-losing-control.html
3 March 2008 at 17:08
decided said…
I was talking to one of my best friends on Sunday. She lives in another town. She had a baby in November, and I hadn't talked to her properly since then.

She had been wanting a baby for at least as long as I knew her. On Sunday she admitted to me that she had never actually cared for a baby before. She said that while she loves her baby, it was really hard being a mother. She said she missed being alone and she didn't feel like herself anymore.

I felt sorry for her. She had never understood why I didn't want children. Now I think she understands a little better.
15 March 2008 at 00:04
Cynthia said…
I came across this blog and am very thankful to know so many others share my ambivalence about motherhood. For me, my ambivalence isn't about whether I'll be a good mom; I'm a teacher, and believe me, I can tell lots of stories about how to NOT parent. However, my ambivalence comes from the fact that I feel like I have a 'life' now - I can do things when I want and with no advance planning. I also feel like I have a lot of 'troubled' family members and it scares me so much to think that I might have a kid who turns out combative and troubled like so many in my family have. Furthermore, on a teacher's salary, I know I couldn't provide the life that I think I would need to provide for a child. Lastly, I feel like I don't have that maternal instinct very much. But, on the other hand, I hope that I won't be 40 and suddenly want kids - I'm afraid of having regrets about it. I dunno. It's encouraging to see what other people think about this, though.
30 December 2009 at 20:28
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