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Wednesday, 23 September 2009

Should you have a child if you don't feel it is a 'vocation'

I came across this article posted in May on the Times Online. The authors suggests that unless you feel strongly that you want a child, that it is a vocation that you shouldn't have one.

Strong stuff indeed!

She says she was shocked how many children weren't planned.

Well, personally, I don't think it is as black and white as she states - yes, some women are always sure they wanted kids, some aren't, sometimes 'accidents' happen. What would be really interesting would be to see if there is a massive difference in how these children are parented or are loved once they come into the world.


Karen Wise said...

I think vocation is a strong word. For me, it was a conscious decision when to have both my children, and how many children to have.

But I am lucky - in the fact that I find falling pregnant easy. Other side of the coin are those who want to be mothers, but can't. These women have to learn to overcome the challenges that they face in not being able to fulfil their "vocation"?

helena holt said...

Oh dear. I'm definitely in the non-vocational camp. I didn't know if I wanted children or not but at 36 a GP friend said if I didn't know I should just get on with it. She was so right and I am so glad she said it as when my son arrived I was smitten - but a vocation is not what parenting should be.
The downside of vocational parenting is being a martyr and that isn't healthy for parent or child. What is wrong with being 'good enough' and just 'doing your best' like our parents did?