Advice on 'I want a baby and my partner says no'

In the Oberserver Magazine, there was this advice from columnist Mariella Frostrup to a woman in her early 40's whose husband (after previously agreeing to have children) has said no. In her advice she says this:

'If in the long-term you are not going to have a baby, which is by no means a certainty at the moment, then make sure that you are living the life you want. Would that include sharing it with a man for whom your long cherished desires are so dispensable?'

Yesterday, I was asked by a friend for my advice on what to say to a partner who is humming and hawing about having children - he would like her to wait a year when she is 40 to start trying for a baby. In coaching, I don't give advice. I ask questions and I work with clients to find a solution that works for them.

In this situation to friends and to clients I say 'What is your bottom line? What are YOU prepared to live with in your life and what aren't you?' And then - have you made this clear to your partner? If they don't agree - what do you want to do then?

Because I agree with Mariella above - life is to short to be living a life you don't want to be living.

Comments

Sass said…
I read Mariella's article and thought of your blog.

I agreed with her. There are worse things than being childless.

But living with a man who didn't respect my hopes and dreams? Ergh. Argh. Wouldn't want to do that.

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