One to One Coaching

I offer free 30 minute telephone/Skype consultations for people wanting to find out more about coaching on the 'baby decision'. Email me at mailto:beth@ticktockcoaching.co.uk and assistant Laura will respond and arrange an appointment with you. Visit http://www.ticktockcoaching.co.uk/ for more information about my coaching services.

Saturday, 3 December 2011

While I regret having children? Will I regret it if I don't have children?

The two biggest fears that women who come to see me express is that they might regret their decision either way. Will I regret having children? Will I regret it if I don't have children?
So when I found this article on the top five regrets that people had on their deathbed, I wanted to share it with you. The top five were:
1) Not having the courage to live a true life and having conformed to others beliefs/wishes.
2) Working too hard
3) Not expressing true feelings/surpressing feelings
4) Losing touch with friends.
5) Not allowing themselves to be happy
It's a great article - and it confirms what I say to clients. If you get in touch with your vision on how you REALLY want to live your life, if you start expressing how you REALLY feel about having/not having children to your partner, if you create a great support network and if can consciously choose things and ways of being that make you happy - you are less likely to feel regret. I love working with people on the decision to have children or not - because in the process of making a decision, they also realise that they can live their lives in more powerful and confident ways. They can make choices and they can live their life from a place of wholeness.

4 comments:

SadMom said...

Oh so that is what I SHOULD have done. Still not sure I have a vision of how I truly want to live; maybe it is vision or maybe fantasy. But my child is 8 now and owns a big piece of my heart. I need to learn to live my choice or stop living... It SUCKS. Do your sole searching up front.

Beth said...

Hi there ~ I think you describe something that many of us experience, not being totally sure of how we want to live or what our vision is. I think it's never to late to explore how to have more of what you are wanting now in your life. Maybe think of a few key values that are important to you. For example, creativity could be a value. And then think of one thing you can do today or tomorrow to live that value more in your life ~ even if it's just a relatively small way.

AilsaCraig said...

Just found this blog and am delighted as at age 39 I have been told that I should not have kids for medical conditions. Prior to this my partner and I have previously sat on the fence with - but now left with the what is the main purpose of life if not to be parents?

Beth said...

Hello Alisha - that is such a difficult place to be. And what you might need to do is some letting go or mouring of the idea of being parents. Alternatively, you could explore other options like adoption. However, I really think thatere are many ways we can live our purpose in life whether we become parents or not. If you could look ahead into the future and have any wish for the world in 100 years what would it be? Maybe write 3 of those wishes or goals for the 100 years in the future. Then brainstorm what you could do in the next 5 years that would help achieve those goals you want for the world.