One to One Coaching

I offer free 30 minute telephone/Skype consultations for people wanting to find out more about coaching on the 'baby decision'. Email me at and assistant Laura will respond and arrange an appointment with you. Visit for more information about my coaching services.

Friday, 1 July 2016

Moving forward in uncertain times

'There is now a great need for bridge-building, for reaching out to one another in love, trusting that below the political differences lie a shared humanity and a wish for flourishing communities.' - From Quakers in Britain, Building Bridges after the Referendum

Living in the UK at the moment, the political energy feels very uneven and unstable.  Whether you voted to leave or remain in the European Union, one thing is undeniable: This is a time of great change.  And with change comes fear, anxiety and worry.

I've been trying to write a blog post every week on my Children or Not Blog . My intention is to write posts that resonate with people wondering whether to start a family, who have doubts about their choice to have children OR to not have children, who are feeling unsure whether they want children enough to go it alone as a single parent or go through the stress of IVF.  I know how stressful and anxiety raising it is trying to make this decision. And so far, touch wood - it's been working.

But in this past week, with so much upheaval and anger and uncertainty, I've really floundered to bring my attention and energy back to the topic of this blog.  I found it very hard to focus my attention - I've felt scattered and unable to bring my focus back and be present.

Then last night,  I had dinner with a coach friend of mine.  A wonderful, lovely energetic lively coach working with women in the corporate sector.

She was telling me how the political uncertainty has impacted on her clients and the businesses they work in.   No-one knows what the new reality means for business and people are holding off making business decisions until there is more certainty.  But when will that come? And how can we move forward in uncertain times?

After we spoke, I realised that these are the same issues and questions that are facing everyone out trying to work out whether they want children or not.  Even if we don't see ourselves as very political or that don't take strong opinions or positions, the EU referendum has had a huge impact on the wider system we are living in by bringing us all into an uncertain era

So,  how do you move forward on the decision to have children when faced with a wider system where many things seem uncertain, unstable and unreliable?

1. Find ways to connect with your inner wisdom/centre/Wise Self .  When we breathe and centre we can connect to the 'bigger picture' and we can feel more trust in our ability to move forward.

2. Think about times in your life when you have been challenged or experienced difficult periods in your life.  How did you move past through those times, what did you learn about yourself?  Now imagine that you have stepped forward into the unknown - what are you taking with you from the past? What do you now know about yourself and your ability to deal with the unknown that will help you face whatever the future brings - in a future with kids or without

3.  Have compassion for yourself.  Find ways to be kind and compassionate when you are feeling angry or frustrated at yourself.  And then, find ways to be compassionate to other people - to stay open and in connection with others even when you are feeling like closing off.  This is particularly important if you are in a disagreement with your partner or husband about having children.

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