One to One Coaching
I offer free 30 minute telephone/Skype consultations for people wanting to find out more about coaching on the 'baby decision'. Email me at mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org and assistant Laura will respond and arrange an appointment with you. Visit http://www.ticktockcoaching.co.uk/ for more information about my coaching services.
Tuesday, 10 October 2017
Is the gap between mothers & childfree friends so wide?
Mind the gap.... between parents and non parents! Everywhere we are told that these two groups of people are oceans apart with much mis-understanding and prejudice on both sides of the gap. It's true that tensions between parents and non-parents do exist. These often show up in the workplace. This article in the conservative Telegraph newspaper Women Without Children Work Harder in the Office points to some of these tensions.
'A major new survey has found that four in 10 working women without children believe that they work harder than their female colleagues who are mums. In a further sign of the two-tier workplace, forty-two per cent of British women polled who aren’t parents, are also angry that their mum colleagues’ holiday requests take priority. This tension, usually a taboo topic in the office, reflects the ongoing row in Westminster about whether to give all employees the right to request flexible working.'
I've had some clients talking about the sadness they feel when they become the only one of their friendship circle not to have children. 'I sometimes get left out of things that they all do with children, like picnics or trips to the playground, although I always get invited to birthday parties. It's hard though to do without a child and other moms... who I don't know ask which child is mine.' And for those women are contemplating motherhood, there is often the fear that they will loose their identity and old friendships completely... they will be just 'somebody's mother' and be stuck in an endless circle of mother and baby groups.
But is the divide between mothers and those who are child free so wide in reality? Can we find and meet in common ground?
That's the question that this article Choosing to have children, choosing not to seeks to address. It's a very personal look at how two friends - one with children and one without live their lives. It's also a positive affirmation of the way that women in different circumstances can support each other and their life choices. In this excerpt, the two women go dancing and the different ways their morning will unfold are described.
'At 2:00 am we left the dancing behind .....We went our separate ways, back to different houses and very different lives. I would be woken in the morning, too early, by the scurrying of feet and the tips of my daughter’s hair on my face. She would be stirred by an alarm clock, perhaps, or by the rhythms of her own body. My day would unfold, for the most part, according to the needs of people other than myself, with all of the beauty that entails. She would rise to a day of her own choosing, with all of the beauty that entails. And we would both be happy.'