One to One Coaching

I offer free 30 minute telephone/Skype consultations for people wanting to find out more about coaching on the 'baby decision'. Email me at and assistant Laura will respond and arrange an appointment with you. Visit for more information about my coaching services.

Sunday, 4 January 2015

I'm worried I will lose my identity if I become a mother

One of the fears that I often hear from women coming to coaching is focused on fear of loss of identity.

'I like who I am now.  I see friends who are consumed with baby talk all the time. I don't want to turn into that version of motherhood.' said a woman I interviewed for my book.

And this is a common fear.  Particularly for those of us in our mid-30's - if we have fought or struggled with self-doubt or with building up our career, it can seem like a risk to give up our hard won idenity.

Yet, I firmly believe that having a child does not fundamentally change who we are.  When I'm coaching a woman who can't decide whether she wants children or not , we spend time on looking at who she is when she is at her most positive & confident.  Early on we do an exercise looking at values and what her core values are.  While how she will live out these values might change if she decides to be a mother, these values - which are a huge part of her identity - do not fundamentally change. 

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