I'm worried I will lose my identity if I become a mother

One of the fears that I often hear from women coming to coaching is focused on fear of loss of identity.

'I like who I am now.  I see friends who are consumed with baby talk all the time. I don't want to turn into that version of motherhood.' said a woman I interviewed for my book.

And this is a common fear.  Particularly for those of us in our mid-30's - if we have fought or struggled with self-doubt or with building up our career, it can seem like a risk to give up our hard won idenity.

Yet, I firmly believe that having a child does not fundamentally change who we are.  When I'm coaching a woman who can't decide whether she wants children or not , we spend time on looking at who she is when she is at her most positive & confident.  Early on we do an exercise looking at values and what her core values are.  While how she will live out these values might change if she decides to be a mother, these values - which are a huge part of her identity - do not fundamentally change.